Clarified Brawndo Cocktail (The Idiocracy THC Drink) Recipe

Name: Clarified Brawndo Cocktail (The Idiocracy THC Drink)
Prep time: 5 min
Yield: 1 cocktail
Ingredients: 2 oz / 60 ml citrus THC spirit of your choice (Ellora or Nowadays, both 10 mg per serving); 2 oz / 60 ml Lemon-lime sports drink (Brawndo, Gatorade, or Powerade); 0.75 oz / 22 ml Ginger syrup; 0.5 oz / 15 ml Fresh lime juice; 0.75 oz / 22 ml Strong black tea; Lime twist, for garnish; About 2 oz whole milk, for clarifying (optional)

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Clarified Brawndo Cocktail (The Idiocracy THC Drink) Ingredients

2 oz / 60 ml citrus THC spirit of your choice, Ellora or Nowadays, both 10 mg per serving

2 oz / 60 ml Lemon-lime sports drink (Brawndo, Gatorade, or Powerade)

0.75 oz / 22 ml Ginger syrup

0.5 oz / 15 ml Fresh lime juice

0.75 oz / 22 ml Strong black tea

Lime twist, for garnish

For clarifying: about 2 oz whole milk per 6 oz of cocktail

How to make a Clarified Brawndo Cocktail (The Idiocracy THC Drink)

Unclarified (ready in a minute): shake everything with ice and strain over fresh ice, or just open pour. Garnish with a lime twist. It's very ginger-forward this way and good on its own.

Clarified: stir the cocktail together without ice. Add about 2 oz of whole milk to a large jar, then slowly pour the cocktail over the milk. The citrus curdles the milk on contact, and those curds grab the cloudy stuff. Rest it in the refrigerator overnight (about 4 hours works in a pinch), then pour it slowly through a coffee filter. The first pass takes around 45 minutes. Run it through the same filter and curds two or three times for maximum clarity, since the milk is doing the work, not the filter. Serve over clear ice with a lime twist and watch people refuse to believe there's anything in the glass.

Clarified THC cocktail served crystal clear over a clear ice sphere with a lime twist

Idiocracy opened on September 1, 2006, and two decades later its best joke is still Brawndo, the sports drink a future society pours on its crops because "it's got electrolytes. It's what plants crave." The joke lands because sports drinks aren't that far from cocktails. Salt, acid, sugar, water. We just don't usually put them in a neon bottle.

So what happens if you take Brawndo and turn it back into something that looks like water? Milk clarification. The black tea isn't only for depth, its tannins help the clarifying along, and the finished drink comes out crystal clear, silky, and softer than the shaken version. I call it What Plants Crave.

On dosing: both bottles are 10 mg per labeled serving, and 2 oz pours a little over that. I pour heavy on purpose, because clarification costs you volume in the filter. I built this on Ellora, Crescent Canna's THC-infused spirit, and Nowadays behaves the same in the glass. Reach for a 5 mg bottle to halve either one.